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The more we know about the way people really have sex, the harder it is to file straight and gay people into easy categories: This post originally misstated the name of Indiana University. Trending Most Read Related.

17 Tips for Being a Better Top

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18 Types of Sex All Gay Men Should Try At Least Once in their Lifetime

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The Gay Man's Good Sex Guide

He should get a fourth Purple Heart for surviving that onslaught of stupidity. Live Well. Do Good. Why, then, am I writing this article? Because there is no one better to ask about topping than a bottom. And although we generally present these sex roles as fixed, here is an unavoidable truth that most gay men of a certain age will tell you: Even if you start off batting for one team or another, most of us become versatile over time. Sure, there are a few lifelong total tops out there, but many gay men begin to see the silliness of closing ourselves off to an entire half of the sodomy experience.

I have found myself in an increasing number of situations where I want to make the men I like feel good. Most tops could use a lesson on how to top better, and most self-identified bottoms will at some point be at the altar of his ass, ready to worship but unsure of what to do. Whichever way you lean, browse my 17 tips on how to be a better, beastly top. My name is Alexander Cheves, and I am known by friends in the kink and leather community as Beastly. I am a sex-positive writer and blogger. As with everything I write, the intent of this piece is to break down the stigmas surrounding the sex lives of gay men.

Those who are sensitive regarding frank discussions about sex are invited to click elsewhere, but consider this: If you are outraged by content that addresses sex openly and honestly, I invite you to examine this outrage and ask yourself whether it should instead be directed at those who oppress us by policing our sexuality.

For all others, enjoy the slideshow.

And feel free to leave your own suggestions for sex and dating topics in the comments.

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